In which When Harry Met Sally Makes an appearance again

Harry couldn’t have explained it better to Sally and to the rest of the world. According to him, a single, unattached guy and girl can never be just friends because the sex part always gets in the way. Sure, there was a time in between when Harry and Sally looked like they were on their way to keeping things platonic between them.

But we all knew something had to give; in this case, when Sally started realizing her insecurities from her past serious relationship with another guy, Harry, being her shoulder to cry on, was forced into a tricky situation where he was left with little to no choice. Basically, Sally was a wreck one night and so they ended up sleeping together, thus, supposedly ruining the supposedly non-sexual relationship that they once treasured together.

This got in the way.

When I say a single guy and a single girl being friends, I do mean they can hang out just them two, share secrets together, confide with each other, BFF-type of stuff.

Now you might say that my fictional Harry-Sally example is completely irrelevant, but I was in a slightly similar situation when I was in high school. I had a “best friend” who was a guy. We’re friends for four solid years, but I had to admit I had a slight crush on the dude—sometimes… It’s convoluted. So anyway, come senior year I found out that a friend of ours—a girl, just started hating on me and would say not so nice things behind my back. It was a little later when I found out that she and “best friend” were sort of an item and I was apparently in the way of their happy ending, me being the unideal best friend and potential relationship wrecker. Sheesh.

The lack of best friend-y third party pictures in Google Images forced me to use this photo.

Also, Ian Somerhalder. (Rawr.)

So really, when Harry said that “sex” always gets in the way of that type of friendship, he wasn’t only being literal, but actually also meant another member of the opposite “sex,” however applicable.

After that, I have vowed never to have a guy for a best friend, unless he isn’t straight. And c'mon, even if I weren't remotely attracted to him that way at all, looking back it's kind of certain that it wouldn't last. The world will deny us of that peace of mind. To anyone who's currently in the same boat, the mere fact that you or him or some of your friends would not allow it to just sit there and would keep bringing the possibilities up every time, is the world denying you of that--it's always a thought that crosses your mind before you sleep, while you spend time with your other friends instead of him and while you watch some friendship-themed TV show. 

I’m thinking long and hard for an exception, but nothing’s coming. That’s probably because they don’t exist. I have a few guy friends and I can say that it's very far from turning into something else we all might regret, maybe because there's a mutual imaginary boundary that we've subconsciously created for ourselves. Or maybe all don't want to ruin what little we have. We just are and we're fine with it. 

By the way, the dude and the girl are now married to each other and are now raising two lovely kids together. By Harry's standards, we could rekindle the friendship because at least one of us is already with someone else and it would work this time. But honestly, I really just have no time. 

-          - Soc

From the top of my head, I can’t think of a TV show or a movie that can solidly support my argument here. It has always been two friends falling in love or in a one-sided love affair, and I don’t want to know if this is actually a foreshadowing of how much of a failure my part of the debate will be. 

God, even they ended up together. Ugh.

Let’s see me try, shall we?

The way I see it, having a guy best friend — for the most part — is probably the best thing in the universe next to bacon. Sure they wouldn’t be the best shopping companions but, I find that they are more honest about things. You know what I mean, we girls love to go beating around the bush and it usually takes forever to get to a certain point.  I’m not generalizing but from my experience, it has always been that way. Big plus, a guy best friend is way more honest than a boyfriend when you ask for their opinion on how you look.

Bacon > Guy best friend.

(He said that I had elephant legs for arms which earned him a good view of my jiggling “elephant arms” and earned me a good view of his horror-stricken face.)

Anyway, this whole guys and girls cannot be just friends idea has been wholly absurd to me. I don’t know if I am just blind or in denial about it because a lot of my friends have shoved it in my face that you just can’t be just friends, and I’ve also been treated to the whole When Harry Met Sally discourse (I’m looking at you, Soc) and I still don’t get why.

By now, you’ve probably guessed that I have a guy best friend right now (but, I wouldn’t declare that to his face, I’d rather keep it that he was the one who declared that while I looked at him stupefied), which I do and he’s just lovely like a princess, and yes, he’s straight. I think it’s best if I discuss the point Soc raised in her piece. And hope that it doesn’t bite me in the ass because I sincerely believe that two single people can truly be just friends.

The sex part getting in the way  

I agree on the whole opposite sex thing getting in the way because we have been subjected to jealous tirades from our then significant halves about spending too much time with each other (no, we didn’t) and placing each other so high on our priority list (no, bacon and Nutella were higher). After everything has wrecked itself out of proportion, we were convinced that they were just clingy, insecure people who did not deserve our time which we then concluded with buckets of beer. See? Fun!

But let’s get down to the whole gritty sex thing.  True that it has come up in conversations but, the only sex we really cared about was SEx (Sinangag Express for those who don’t know) and their lovely tapsilog. Sex would only get in the way if you let it get in the way, right?

Probably the best sex you'll ever have.

I’m all for the whole sexual tension thing among friends because I’ve tried to fix a lot of my friends together in an attempt to be the matchmaker from heaven and be thanked in a toast when they get married. But, the thing is, the sex gets in the way only when there is sexual tension. I think a lot of people haven’t really thought about there not being sexual tension or the sexual compatibility just doesn’t match so there’s just nothing there but platonic love. And surely, there's this thing that we are just fine with it.

I don’t know if I’d like more convincing about this topic because I’ve already heard long lectures about it but, I’d welcome a nice, healthy debate.

-          - Tula