Harry
couldn’t have explained it better to Sally and to the rest of the world.
According to him, a single, unattached guy and girl can never be just friends
because the sex part always gets in the way. Sure, there was a time in between
when Harry and Sally looked like they were on their way to keeping things
platonic between them.
But we
all knew something had to give; in this case, when Sally started realizing her insecurities from her past serious relationship with another guy, Harry, being
her shoulder to cry on, was forced into a tricky situation where he was left
with little to no choice. Basically, Sally was a wreck one night and so they
ended up sleeping together, thus, supposedly ruining the supposedly non-sexual
relationship that they once treasured together.
This got in the way.
When I
say a single guy and a single girl being friends, I do mean they can hang out
just them two, share secrets together, confide with each other, BFF-type of
stuff.
Now you
might say that my fictional Harry-Sally example is completely irrelevant, but I was in a slightly similar situation when I was in high school. I had a “best
friend” who was a guy. We’re friends for four solid years, but I had to admit I
had a slight crush on the dude—sometimes… It’s convoluted. So anyway, come
senior year I found out that a friend of ours—a girl, just started hating on me
and would say not so nice things behind my back. It was a little later when I
found out that she and “best friend” were sort of an item and I was apparently
in the way of their happy ending, me being the unideal best friend and potential relationship wrecker. Sheesh.
The lack of best friend-y third party pictures in Google Images forced me to use this photo.
Also, Ian Somerhalder. (Rawr.)
So
really, when Harry said that “sex” always gets in the way of that type of
friendship, he wasn’t only being literal, but actually also meant another
member of the opposite “sex,” however applicable.
After
that, I have vowed never to have a guy for a best friend, unless he isn’t
straight. And c'mon, even if I weren't remotely attracted to him that way at
all, looking back it's kind of certain that it wouldn't last. The world will
deny us of that peace of mind. To anyone who's currently in the same boat, the
mere fact that you or him or some of your friends would not allow it to just
sit there and would keep bringing the possibilities up every time, is the world
denying you of that--it's always a thought that crosses your mind before you
sleep, while you spend time with your other friends instead of him and while you watch some friendship-themed TV show.
I’m
thinking long and hard for an exception, but nothing’s coming. That’s probably because they don’t exist. I have a few guy friends and I can say that it's very
far from turning into something else we all might regret, maybe because there's
a mutual imaginary boundary that we've subconsciously created for ourselves. Or
maybe all don't want to ruin what little we have. We just are and we're fine with it.
By the
way, the dude and the girl are now married to each other and are now raising
two lovely kids together. By Harry's standards, we could rekindle the
friendship because at least one of us is already with someone else and it would
work this time. But honestly, I really just have no time.
- - Soc
From the top of my head, I can’t think of a TV show or a movie that can
solidly support my argument here. It has always been two friends falling in love
or in a one-sided love affair, and I don’t want to know if this is actually a
foreshadowing of how much of a failure my part of the debate will be.
God, even they ended up together. Ugh.
Let’s see me try, shall we?
The way I see it, having a guy best friend — for the most part — is probably
the best thing in the universe next to bacon. Sure they wouldn’t be the best
shopping companions but, I find that they are more honest about things. You
know what I mean, we girls love to go beating around the bush and it usually
takes forever to get to a certain point. I’m not generalizing but from my experience,
it has always been that way. Big plus, a guy best friend is way more honest
than a boyfriend when you ask for their opinion on how you look.
Bacon > Guy best friend.
(He said that I had elephant legs for arms which earned him a good view
of my jiggling “elephant arms” and earned me a good view of his horror-stricken
face.)
Anyway, this whole guys and girls cannot be just friends idea has been
wholly absurd to me. I don’t know if I am just blind or in denial about it
because a lot of my friends have shoved it in my face that you just can’t be just friends, and I’ve also been treated
to the whole When Harry Met Sally discourse (I’m looking at you, Soc) and I
still don’t get why.
By now, you’ve probably guessed that I have a guy best friend right now
(but, I wouldn’t declare that to his face, I’d rather keep it that he was the
one who declared that while I looked at him stupefied), which I do and he’s just
lovely like a princess, and yes, he’s straight. I think it’s best if I discuss the
point Soc raised in her piece. And hope that it doesn’t bite me in the ass
because I sincerely believe that two single people can truly be just friends.
The sex part getting in the way
I agree on the whole opposite sex thing getting in the way because we
have been subjected to jealous tirades from our then significant halves about
spending too much time with each other (no, we didn’t) and placing each other
so high on our priority list (no, bacon and Nutella were higher). After
everything has wrecked itself out of proportion, we were convinced that they
were just clingy, insecure people who did not deserve our time which we then concluded
with buckets of beer. See? Fun!
But let’s get down to the whole gritty sex thing. True that it has come up in conversations but,
the only sex we really cared about was SEx (Sinangag Express for those who don’t
know) and their lovely tapsilog. Sex would only get in the way if you let it
get in the way, right?
Probably the best sex you'll ever have.
I’m all for the whole sexual tension thing among friends because I’ve
tried to fix a lot of my friends together in an attempt to be the matchmaker
from heaven and be thanked in a toast when they get married. But, the thing is,
the sex gets in the way only when there is sexual tension. I
think a lot of people haven’t really thought about there not being sexual
tension or the sexual compatibility just doesn’t match so there’s just nothing
there but platonic love. And surely, there's this thing that we are just fine with it.
I don’t know if I’d like more convincing about this topic because I’ve already
heard long lectures about it but, I’d welcome a nice, healthy debate.
- - Tula
