Game of Thrones Megapost

HBO's Game of Thrones: A sick review

Disclaimer: Because I'm a royal idiot that since last year, despite the persistence from my older brother and older sister, who'd both bugged me to read what I would say their favorite novel series at the moment—George R. R. Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire, I still have NOT managed to open its pages and am only about to start (soon) with the first book, A Game of Thrones. So if you may, allow me to share my comments based solely on the first season of the now hit HBO TV series Game of Thrones.


That's not to say I didn't love all the reactions that this cable fantasy drama has roused from all its rabid followers (readers and non-readers) and critics all throughout the airing of Season 1. This adaptation depicts the story the finest way possible, and it has let its entertaining characters run the show (as they should be more than the excellent cinematography). It had an amazing predominantly Brit cast that was able to successfully expose man's most colorful traits: stupidity, ruthlessness, douchebaggery, melancholia and a whole lot of sex drive in all their Middle-earthy glory.

Yes, what's not to love about seeing what everyone believed to be the show's main protagonist make one shady decision after another, only to find out he actually gets ganged up on and then beheaded in the second to the last episode. Nice. Well at least he died with honor, right?

Heads, lots of heads. Time and time again, HBO comes out with something doubly brutal, doubly provocative, and thereby doubly entertaining. That doesn't mean some of these scenes could've been left out if it weren't for the gore-and-whore factor. They are very much significant in telling the tale that without it, the account would not only lack the added seemingly raw atmosphere, but it would lose all of the author George R. R. Martin's essence in the narrative.

Unlike some others, there wasn't any cliché romance angle in GOT. Sure, there's a prince, but alas, he's nowhere near charming. (Quite the opposite, actually.) There was, however, a conflicted husband-wife relationship, but saved for the truly touching "moon of my life," "my sun and stars" terms of endearment, it wouldn't pass for an Aragorn-Arwen ver. 2.0 loveteam. And not that there's anything wrong with either, in fact, GOT's Daenerys-Khal Drogo projects the somewhat other side of the "forbidden love" tragedy, ending beautifully bittersweet, nonetheless.

Also, there's that incestuous love affair but let’s just leave that alone.

If you ever wondered when and how douchebags started to rule the world, the show pretty much answered it. Not that the male-dominated cast portrayed truly worthless asses. For instance, this Viserys fellow from the House Targaryen. Behind his cruel treatment towards his own sister Daenerys—sacrificing her to the Dothraki people so he could have the throne in his family's possession again, he was a man who's only driven to bring the glory back to his parent’s name and his and nothing more.

Let’s also include King Robert Baratheon, the pot-bellied ruler of Westeros—he loved them girls, he loved them booze. If you ran a continent and had a group of slimy, evil-plotting so-called advisers surrounding you, the least that you could do for yourself is to drink and get busy in the bedroom during your spare time.

Now what did doucheyness and stupidity have in common? They both got owned by Death eventually.

Finally, there's the ‘emo’ wall-watching kid. A bastard + sensitive, soul-searching nature + freezing cold weather = a babe magnet. No, not in the story, I meant me.

I give you emo faraway looks. Bitches love emo faraways looks.

To cut things short, if a small-screen chronicle has made you one shaken, distraught ninny by the time the story has been completely told, you know you've met one quality TV fixture. (For instance, I was laughing hysterically like a crazy person when the “fake” protagonist Ned Stark died, to the point that I had to literally talk myself out of it.) No dragging parts, no nonsense, none of that. The countdown to the next season continues.

________________________________

We are reviewing HBO’s Game of Thrones aka that BAMF-iest BAMF of a show. HBO, really, is a gift that keeps on giving.

Hear that? That’s me fangirling. This is me, basically every episode.

I can be the fat one. Soc can take the thinner, less cute one.

Dear lord, save the fangirls.

Now, I don’t know how this would go because, I am very much just the casual fan of the show. I don’t think I can even compare to those who really know the show. Honestly, I didn’t even know about the books until somebody (read: wiki) pointed it out to me.

Game of Thrones is based on best-selling author’s George R. R. Martin series of books, A Song of Fire and Ice which Game of Thrones is the first blah blah blah – I think you’d all know all the details already so I should save my time pretending to be someone who knows (which I admitted I was not already). Besides, I have Soc to fill you guys out on that.

I have to get real here for a second. While all of that is nice and all, I have to admit that I really liked this series for the bouncing boobs and dangling dongs, not to mention a steady amount of butt exposure here and there. Really, there wasn’t an episode that there weren’t some naked person traipsing around.

No, I don’t think I am a pervert – far from it – but I do appreciate the view. Except for that part where some old dude ran dong swinging while Bran was talking to Tonks.

She will forever be Tonks.

I am now part-wolf, thanks to Lupin.

You know who rules? Tyrion Lannister.

Not only does he get to bitch slap future king (and resident whiny b*tch asshole) Joffrey, he also gets laid for what seems to be like every other minute. Oh, did I mention that he is a dwarf? What he lacks in height, he makes up in cunning. Famous line: a mind needs a book, like a sword needs a whetstone. You, ser, are a very sexy man.

Speaking of sexiness, that Jamie Lannister is off the charts. Well, except for that twincest thing. Incest is always a turn off. No thanks for killing the sexy, blondie. 

Awkward backhug for you because I don't think it's appropriate to post the sex scene.

So, we shift our interests to the Stark boys instead.

Ah, the Starks. If Westeros had a version of emo, they’d be it. They live in the cold North, dark looks, dark eyes, always broody; they’re basically programmed to be like that. Please see Jon Snow for reference. I think it’s because their father is Ned Stark, who is played by Sean Bean, whose every character he plays, dies. They were just asking for it.

And before I end this thing awkwardly, I have to mention the BAMF-iest BAMF of the BAMF-iest BAMF show who rules more than Tyrion: Daenerys Stormborn of House Targaryen. She went from a princess to a banished princess to a hostage princess to reluctant queen to savage queen to kick ass dragon queen. I eat up shizz like that. Plus, I’m a sucker for their “sun and stars” and “moon of my life” love story, it’s heartbreaking.

So that’s it. It still ended up looking like a sexy appreciation post and I regret nothing. Except for you, Jamie Lannister. 

I’m going to torture myself till next year and refuse to read the books because I don’t want to ruin my watching experience just yet.