They Should've Been Together

You know that time when you’re reading a book (or watching a movie/series), you decided that you have a favourite character and that character would be perfect for the lead character. Like you’ve pictured it in your head and hope that by the end of the story that you’d somehow be correct – not necessarily on how it’ll get there but it better have your OTP get together goddammit.

For those who don’t know, OTP means One True Pairing and doesn’t automatically mean the two lead characters that the author deemed perfect for each other but who you deem perfect for each other. Sure, some fans can argue that it’s not canon and we will suffer in knowing that our pair will never ever be together but, I say that’s the thing that makes it more exciting. And I can argue back that what was written will be end of their OTP while I can let my OTP’s million possibilities explode in my brain.

(That, of course, only if I know that my pair would never happen in the story. However, if my pair was the destined pair in the story, whoever says otherwise can just deal with it.

This is fangirling 101. Rationality is thrown out the window.)

For example, my favourite being Draco and Hermione from the Harry Potter books. (Can I hear a whomp whomp from Dramione fans?) The conflict is so classic – the star-crossed lovers - that it’s not hard to pair them together and, it didn’t help that the actors who portrayed them are very, very good-looking. I mean, Tom Felton was totally not the Draco Malfoy I envisioned described in the books, he was supposed to be nasty and snooty-looking not hot and just slightly snooty-looking, and don’t even get me started on Emma Watson.

Dramione brought to you by this lovely fanart from a Google Images search.

Anyway, there’s something so juicy about forbidden love and the fact that JKR confirmed that Draco had the hots for Hermione made my imagination go into overdrive. The angst, the what-ifs, what-could-have-beens are so irresistible, it made my head hurt. Hermione needed something to drive her away from her too strong of a loyalty to Harry and Draco needed salvation – it’s a perfect setting. But then, when you think about it, if JKR went that way, it would’ve stolen a bit of Harry’s spotlight and would probably need another book for a side story.

They were the biggest what-if, admit it.

Or how about Harry and Hermione? The-love-that-shan’t-be-explored? To be honest, this felt like it had more potential than going the way of the One Big Happy Weasley Family. If I were being brutally honest, I'd think that Ginny ended up with Harry just because she looked like Lily Potter. I mean, what was that? Turning suddenly into a super heroine by the time the series was nearing it's end. 

Sigh.

How she could resist those abs is something I wouldn't understand.

And, Twilight? (Yes, I’m talking about it because I have this sort of morbid fascination about it.)  All you readers out there secretly know that Jacob is way better for Bella. I mean, Edward? Come on, he’s just sparkly.

As for television, show writers have this way of making awesome second lead characters and leaving viewers like me clutching at my pillow and heartbroken.

Three words: Damon and Elena. This is one pairing that is so close to happening but I feel that won’t happen anytime soon or ever. Those who are watching The Vampire Diaries would know that Stefan was actually the worse of the brothers when they’ve just became vampires. Damon didn’t ask for it, really, he was content being in love with Katherine and that was it. Now that Elena comes into the picture, Stefan is the saint and Damon is the devil.

Well, at least, they ended up together in real life.

Oh dear lord, why? Can’t Damon just get redemption? He’s too hot for unrequited love.

Warewolves have such epic abs.

And True Blood, you’re making my belief firmer that in a werewolf-human-vampire triangle, werewolves deserve the human better.

Screw you, Eric Foreman and Hyde's conscience. 

How about Hyde and Donna from That 70's Show? Hyde struggling with his feelings for Donna is so much fun to watch, I wondered why it had to be Jackie that he had a relationship with. Imagine the drama it would've brought to the show! But alas, there is a reason that the show is a comedy and not a drama.

-Tula

I have to admit, when Tula brought this topic to my attention, my mind went blank for a minute. I don’t really keep track of OTPs or at least my mind isn’t wired to think collectively like that.

At least, they ended up together in real life (?).

There’d be a few that I thought deserved a cult following—I’d have to agree with her on the Hermione-Harry bit—man I’d join that ship in a heartbeat. And there’s also that overtly-explored love triangle in One Tree Hill once upon a time (raise your hand if you were a fan before that show went haywire-boring after season 4). But I did imagine how’d be great to see a Brooke-Nathan hookup. Sadly, the writers never considered. Man, forget that James Lafferty can’t act for the life of him; his gorgeousness deserves the equally hot and husky Sophia Bush, but whatever. I read the show’s in its 9th and final season. There goes my college life, whuuut.

If only he wasn't gay.

If there’s One True Pairing in film off the top of my head that I totally rooted for during its time, it would be from the badly ended chick flick My Best Friend’s Wedding. I don’t think it needs any further explanation. The character Julia Roberts played was meant to end up with her guy best friend (played by Dermot Mulroney). And they say that one of the film’s charms is that the girl surprisingly doesn’t end happily ever after with her love interest. Her gay friend (played by Rupert Everett) doesn’t turn straight for her either. (Rats!) And it was supposed to be a feel-good movie, gaddammit. AND PLEASE, even if it went down to a contest on who had the bigger mouth, Julia would still beat Cameron (Diaz) by a long shot. C’mon.

And more than 10 years later, you can still feel the chemistry.

In the small screen, the only thing that ever really caught my attention would be the abusive and obviously doomed-from-the-start relationship between Buffy Summers and Spike a.k.a. the vampire who’s the spitting image of Billy Idol in the TV series Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Even before the rest of mankind got into the whole fascination over the vampire romance angle, there was that epic Buffy series from the late 90s to early 2000 that paved the way. Buffy was a badass slaying vampires yet she fell for the broody bloodsucker Angel at first. Didn’t go crazy over THAT pairing but that's that. Eventually though, the genius that Joss Whedon is, he must’ve seen the chemistry between Buffy and Spike loud and clear that another pairing had to happen. Alas, like all dark fantasy dramas, or at least the ones I’ve seen, the “love” part of the show had to end a tragic ending. But the show kicked ass, nonetheless. And Spike didn’t even have to sparkle. And he was very ugly when he turned into vampire mode. And he wasn’t brooding, for chrissakes. And so he was pretty special even though he turned to ashes in the end. Poof!

--Soc 

The Ladies of Romantic Comedies

My favorite female lead characters in rom-coms, in one way or the other, are those whom I can identify with the most. In one way, they usually are a bit like me: quirky and/or awkward; or in the other, they usually are someone I kind of want to be like: someone with shiny hair and who has one hell of a stylish wardrobe.

Those pants.

Annie Hall (Annie Hall)
It is because of Annie Hall that I will forever be a fan of Diane Keaton. I mean, really, what girl would fall for this talkative, all-knowing, neurotic old dude Alvy Singer (Woody Allen), who kept on complaining about their relationship and basically anything about the world. Whatever it is, Annie takes the cake for her candidness and memorable getup that make her one iconic female character, with Diane Keaton becoming one of those lead stars to watch out for fashion-wise in Hollywood. Claaaaahss!

Just like the rest of the female roles that are included in this list, Annie is a puzzle but despite the eccentricity, she and Alvy are matched chemically and intellectually. Anne may not be considered intelligent compared to Alvy, but one of her most desirable traits is her drive to keep in step with Alvy, and her wittiness and rawness charging toward the trials that go with being in a complicated relationship with him. And although the film didn’t end happily, you’re left feeling good about the whole thing and with Annie, in utmost relief for she knew what was and what wasn't in the relationship, and she didn’t even have to drive herself to think too much about it.

Every woman in that restaurant at that time wanted to be her. 

Sally Albright (When Harry Met Sally)
Probably one of the best rom-coms of all time, and Sally (Meg Ryan) mixed well with Harry’s (Billy Crystal) total oppositeness. The way that Sally’s true complexity hid behind her being a little too polite, makes her such a relatable character. The reality is that there are a lot of women out there who’d always try their best to be nice and shiny and pleasant, when in fact they are just like any other person with flaws and insecurities.

What makes Sally so lovable is how she represented for the females in the famous diner scene when Harry insisted that he’s all that in bed. And how she’s branded as “high maintenance but thinks she’s low maintenance” by the way she orders food at a restaurant.

Of course, with the movie being the ultimate rom-com fix, things had to end well eventually between the two leads, which I guess was Sally’s period of enlightenment—realizing and admitting her feelings to Harry, which we’re sure was there from the very beginning, but was only contained due to Sally’s being well-behaved. Although, things would’ve gotten worse if she’d entertained the possibility between them prematurely. A disastrous thought and that's why I leave writing screenplays to the experts.

Hey, look! It's Julia Roberts playing Anna Scott who's suspiciously like Julia Roberts.

Anna Scott (Notting Hill)
At one point in our lives, we've dreamt of becoming a gorgeous and commercially successful Hollywood actress, who just stumbled upon her true love in the most unassuming place, right? No? Okay. Anyway, it's one amazing, fairytale-like mess, methinks. The way Will Thacker (Hugh Grant) was able to win Anna Scott (Julia Roberts) is just a joy to see, in a way, it kinda looked like Anna was the busy overachieving guy who came down from the sky and swept the simple girl off of her feet. We, from time to time like to think that we're the ones who control our destiny when it comes to relationships (oh wait, that happens all the time.) and it's a bit liberating and empowering to see that in Anna Scott. Plus, meeting Will's offbeat family was hella fun.

There was a time when social climbing looked classy.

Holly Golightly (Breakfast at Tiffany’s)
Probably, the very first classic American film that I ever got to watch was Breakfast and since then, I’ve been in love with the 1950s, 1960s, 1970s eras just as much as the modern ones.

I do think that the charming Holly Golightly film role wouldn’t have been as charming if it weren’t for Audrey Hepburn’s portrayal. Especially the fact that Holly was this social butterfly from the country, but despite that she was able to catch the eye of the rich and dapper-looking Paul Varjak (George Peppard) and was able to win her in the end makes for a happy chick flick night by yourself. Also, that Holly’s black dress had a life of its own made Audrey/Holly a major fashion icon in the industry, thanks to the fact that Audrey had an amazing body frame that sat well with the entire outfit. Do check out Audrey’s massive feet, it deserves a mention as well. Also, Holly singing Moon River—lovely.

Heartbreak is pretty like this. Eff you, Summer.

Summer Finn ((500) Days of Summer)
Have to be honest, the very first time I saw this film, I didn’t become an instant fan. Mainly due to the fact that Summer (Zooey Deschanel) deeply hurt such a cutie-pie in Tom (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) and she also put the dating female population on a bad light. Of course, that was me kinda being defensive. Anyway, by the time I saw the movie for the second time, I was able to appreciate the film more, moreover, Summer. Because there really are girls like that—as amazing and as indecisive and as fickle-minded and as disarming as Summer—that any man who’d fall for her would end up badly bruised and broken.

But guys (especially the few good ones) please don’t feel bad or sorry for yourself. These so-called “ones that got away,” which actually ought to be called “ones that had to be let go” instead, are there to teach you a life-long lesson or two. As the cliché goes, what doesn’t kill you can only make you stronger and these ladies, the Summers of your lives, although cannot be considered “girlfriend material,” will be one of the best things you’ll ever get to experience and just like Tom, please don’t curse them when you bump into them years after. Rather, thank them for slapping you with the harsh but hopeful reality of love.

--Love, Soc

I have always liked the stubborn, strong-willed leading lady stereotypes in romantic comedies just for the sake of seeing them fall from their high horses and succumb to the equally strong-willed and stubborn man who they desperately try to ignore but can’t get away from. It’s like the universe’s sweet revenge, laughing giddily while the heroines throw everything and just fall. A sort of catch-22 with the characters deciding to be damned together which is infinitely better than be damned apart.

With the exception of Summer (Zooey Deschanel, 500 Days of Summer), I think she was just plain evil. Well, I think I’m just being defensive here but I think I can agree that we all have our Summers who’d throw us off our balance and probably teach us a valuable lesson. Though, I didn’t think that she had to be that evil.

Er... I kind of don’t trust that Autumn either.

I feel awkward talking about romcoms. It’s not that I don’t like them, in fact, I enjoy them immensely. But, too much mushiness and romance makes me awkward. Like, there’s something distrustful about those things.  

*cough*

Moving On...

We've all tried it once, say it with me, Smoooooooooooter.

Melanie Smooter-Perry/Carmichael (Sweet Home Alabama)

Melanie Carmichael has the fairy tale life being a high-powered New York fashion designer engaged to the son of the mayor. That is until she goes back to Unknown-town, Alabama to demand a divorce from her husband when she becomes Melanie Smooter again. She’s great as a Carmichael and she’s ruthless as a Smooter and I love her for that.

Then try as she might to fight for her fairy tale life, she wounds up wondering why she left in the first place when probably the best love stories aren’t as glossy.

Perfect excuse to use this macro.

Margaret Tate (The Proposal)

If it wasn’t for the threat of deportation because of an expired visa, I don’t think that Margaret would ever take a second look at her passive-aggressive assistant Andrew. Sure, he’s hot and all but she’s running a big business and love was just another distraction for her – oh wait, she just forgot how it feels to be loved, being left alone to fend for herself at 16.

Now, these are the people I like. You’d think that they have a big stick up their ass but actually, they’re just teddy bears waiting to be cuddled inside.

Drew Barrymore in possibly the most awesome prom getup ever.

Josie Geller (Never Been Kissed)

Intelligent and pretty but held back immensely by traumas from the past. The courage is there but it’s somewhat spread in the wrong places. I mean, I could not imagine myself going back to where my nightmares occurred and she just did it (sure, it was a work assignment but that’s beside the point).

Out of all the Drew Barrymore romcoms, I think this has to be my favourite one. It’s like an explosion of insecurities and nothing comes easy to the heroine. All throughout the movie, she just struggles and struggles to get rid of her demons and nothing magical really occurs - except for that first kiss.

What started Anne Hathaway in her princess track.

Ella (Ella Enchanted)

Now, this is the complete opposite of the last one. Everything is about magic here, from start to finish. But even with the aid of magic, that doesn’t stop Ella from being so dense about love. Well, that is, until after a night of partying (how appropriate), Ella admits that she is indeed in love with the Prince Charming.

Having been bestowed with a gift of unrelenting obedience, Ella rebelled by being an advocate of elves, giants and ogre rights which in that time and place is quite incredulous. Doubly more for a girl like her. But like every tale, she forges on and ultimately breaks free from the spell and gets her happily ever after in the end – like how every fairy tale should end.

-- xo, Tula

On Poleteismo

Okay, Mideo Cruz, sir, you've caught our attention.

Artist Mideo Cruz with the tamer parts of the installation.

He said he wanted to provoke thought and debate. He wanted it, he got it, plus a ton-full of fury from many a Catholic devout in the Philippines.

"That's not art! Art has limitations," cries the pissed public.

"F**k you, Mideo! You'll rot in hell," says another Christian.

While I do not necessarily consider Mideo Cruz's work my cup of tea (despite my sometimes grotesque fixation,), art is selfish (and perverse, too, if you'd ask Beethoven). Art IS used as another tool in sending a strong message from the messenger, in this case, from the controversial artist Mr. Cruz. Now, it's up to the recipients to subject themselves to thinking what they are thinking about his much-criticized and frowned upon "Poleteismo" installation at the CCP. While Imelda Marcos (the person who's responsible for the creation of CCP) has expressed her disdain over the work, it's curious that some of the other vocal critics haven't even stepped foot inside the CCP, ever. That would mean that they are speaking their mind about something they really are not familiar with, describing it as ugly or disrespectful, without regard for knowledge--which kind of suggests that art isn't really universal after all. If it offends, it must be killed--or vandalized and closed down, in this case.

On the other side, Mideo Cruz must've miscalculated his movements, assuming his work would stir controversy. While that actually took place, I doubt if he anticipated to hear the WORST from the "victim"--the Catholic Church and even from his alma mater, who both condemned him like a bad momma. Mr. Cruz must've thought he was only getting ready to be questioned by the art community--the community with whom he proudly associates himself. Nothing but harmless banter between like minds, right? Hell, wrong. The country is predominantly Catholic, 'nuff said.

I also wonder if Mr. Cruz is or was Catholic, otherwise he already was shooting himself on the foot from the get-go. Why thoroughly use something you really had no first-hand experience of?

Verdict: Give or take Mr. Cruz didn't mean to offend anyone, the damage has been done and the Church is deeply upset. Give or take the Catholic Church now aims to end Mr. Cruz's career as an artist, they are not helping the cause by continuously taking it to our circus-y broadcasters, or by having the exhibit shut down. For someone who is relatively unknown, bad publicity is always good publicity.

--Soc

Mideo Cruz may be a lot of things but I don’t think that he’s sent by the devil, as what was passionately proclaimed by a politician during a speech. (Er... I can sense some irony there.) Cruz is the artist behind the “graphic” Poleteismo exhibit which was part of the now closed Kulo showcase in the CCP, if you’re living under a rock and don’t know about it.

So, while I don’t exactly agree with the method used to convey polytheism, I also feel that it should’ve been given a second or even a third look rather than just feeling like a wronged teenager. I don’t actually think that the pieces in question are done for shock’s sake, as some people have claimed, because we have to look at the bigger picture to understand what the artist is trying to convey. All artworks, I feel deserve a second look and second thought. The exhibit was made to elicit something and it did. Art is there to coax a reaction from the people who see it. If it doesn’t, well, it’s just sad.

Represents the consistency of our brains once Friday rolls around.

Icons are icons, whether be it the image of Christ, Buddha or a can of Campbell soup. From what I understood, Poleteismo is the juxtaposition of the modern and traditional icons. Though I have to admit that sticking a wooden penis on Jesus’ face made me uncomfortable, being raised a Catholic and all, and in defense for the institution, I have to relent that the Church should feel uncomfortable seeing their icons like that. After all, they are symbols that represent them. But also, the whole death threats and name calling are just going too far. So, I was just uncomfortable with it but of course, the Church cried foul and overreacted like crazy over it and this is coming at the heel of the Church crying foul over the whole luxury cars hoopla and the RH Bill. (Really Church, you could’ve reacted when this was first shown. It was even shown in Ateneo. Church, why are you making it so hard for me to like you?)

Well, all’s been done and the exhibit is now closed and the head of the Visual Department has resigned. (There is a nice media statement by CCP VP Chris Millado somewhere.) More than the damage the publicity has done to the people involved, I think there is a rising majority now that questions the Church more than ever. This feels like rather than keeping the congregation in line with the traditional teachings, it’s more like whipping the congregation to conform to the teachings - add to that the Congress that is threatening to use state powers. Just see the reaction on the RH Bill. I think that natural contraception is nice and all but when there is a population problem, we have to resort to methods to be able to control it. But, I digress.

Even after all the controversy and trying to inform myself, I’m still quite on the fence with this one leaning mostly on the artistic freedom. However, there is a nagging thought in my mind that probably Cruz has gone too far. But the censorship and what I think an abuse of power is just stunting the art growth in the Philippines. I’m no art critic nor am I well-versed in religious sensibilities but in all these, an open mind, above all, is a good thing to have.

(I’m not making sense. And I like to use parentheses.)  

And I also like Buddy Jesus.

-- Tula

The Mystique of the Bad Boy (And Why Women Fall for Them)

Soc and I talk about a lot of things and somehow, we always end up talking about other people’s relationships (because we’re nosy like that) and how they’re so extreme in the sense that they’re either very good or very bad. So, of course, we would touch on the subject of boys just because we’re also so shallow. However, I don’t think we’ve ever discussed types of boys that usually appear in girls’ conversations.

The only thing I think that will forever be relevant in discussions is the bad boy. You know, the real bad boy — the broody guy with an intense stare and bad clothes that magically look good on them – not the douchebags, they will always be just douchebags. Anyway, no matter what Soc might think, I still stand by my belief that bad boys are magical. I mean, they’re just standing there brooding about their (probably) miserable lives and girls flock to throw their panties at them. It’s like people in a rock band, or any band for that matter (except for school bands, unless you live in Asia where there is a certain sexiness in playing the clarinet or something).

Case in point.

And, I think I have to stress that these brooding bad boys are not the emo broodsters that the 2000s unintentionally bred. Though, I don’t know how to explain the case of Jordan Catalano turning into manliner Jared Leto.

Damn you, evolution!

It’s not that I like bad boys, instead, I think I am fascinated by them. I mean, who wouldn’t really?

In TV dramas:

You know this, it’s that annoying (but insanely lovable) cold lead character that does nothing but abuse the female lead for the first episodes then transforms into this softie but toughie in the next. Yes, I’m talking to you, Chuck Bass.

Isn’t he just incredibly sexy?

While all that is good and most probably an integral part of the story, when you put it in a real-life context it doesn’t make sense, and there will be the perfect second lead that will always be taken for granted. You know what I mean, Asian drama viewers, you. But such is life that the dramas reflect and there will also be that one guy girls tend to overlook.

Bad example, I know, but you get my point. Jacob was perfect for Edwar-- I mean, Bella.

In movies:

I think it all boils down to the hero-needs-a-hero-saving thing. We’ve all seen it before, from superhero movies to sappy chick flicks to serious dramas – a good hero is also a hero that needs saving.

I’m gruff and buff, but I am also a stuffed bunny inside.

In music:

It’s that breed that pens Vindicated, Breakeven, and other songs that say I am not really cold on the outside  ̶  I just need somebody to break down my walls. We all have to admit it, I think, that there is something terribly attractive about a guy pretending to be cold so his fluffy heart won’t be broken.

They had a song called Always. Talk about cheesy.

So yeah, let Soc do the personality analysis. I’m bad at wrapping up things, I can’t string words the way I want them to omelette--

_______________________________________________________

The eternal question: why do women fall for the "bad boys?" I have to be honest, I'm one of those who think this behavior is ridiculous as I don't believe that all relationships should go through all that trouble, just like in the movies. That's why they are called movies and this—reality. Still, there'd been numerous times, that I'd find myself especially attracted to this type—a guy who has a knack in hurting women, whether or not intentionally, has hang-ups, has a dark side, and has personal issues against world and his life.



So, why? Is it really inevitable and will women be able to successfully avoid the lure of the mystery that envelopes the persona of such bad boys? I’ve come up with several traits that best describe these “bad boys” and let’s try to figure out just how hopeless our cases are against this weakness.

Mysterious
I don’t know about you, but that’s the very first thing that comes to mind when I think about these “bad boys.” The truth is, just like any human being, we’d like ourselves to be entertained and more and more women, and I mean the complex ones, are getting bored more easily these days, so as to seek partners whom they’d only keep if they add spice and color to their lives as single ladies. From a modest standpoint, bad boys always give you a certain look that gives away nothing but a small hint of what they truly are. It’s not that they are pretending, it’s more like they are holding back and we revel at the thought of being able to find out the hidden truth.  

A shirtless Stephan Schrock makes an appearance. OMG.

(Cr. go-azkals-go.tumblr.com. You just made Soc's year.)

Stubborn

Bad boys, naturally, like to argue. They like confrontations. They want to pick up a fight, because they want to get their own way. They don’t like to follow other people’s instructions and they don’t want to get bullied around, as it should be the other way around. For example: football player Stephan Schrock of the Azkals. Remember that 2nd leg against Sri Lanka, that part when he bumped heads with a Sri Lankan player and eventually got a yellow card in the process? While I already liked him in his debut game in the first leg, he gained popularity (especially with the girls) at that particular heated moment on the pitch because it was just damn intense! Who wouldn’t want to try to discipline him?! Give me twenty chin ups, topless, you, rebel, you! 

Passionate

As a follow up on the stubbornness of bad boys, it’s also expected that they are full of emotions. Just as they could easily flare up during confrontation would translate to the feelings they could apply in pleasing their own woman. This assessment sounds shady but I don't care, but it does make a point, right? (HUH?)

 
Masculine
Again, please refer to the one above. Ruled by T-hormones, bad boys often resort to either physical violence or rational thinking, thus, silence. Physical violence means the intention to maintain physical robustness. Also, since the Stone Age, women have been attracted to the opposite sex's, well, "oppositeness." Because most women wouldn’t want to marry 
someone who talks just as much as they do.

I'm badass and I also have a pink bar of soap.

Anti-heroic
In our eyes, bad boys = the unlikely protagonists. Think Tyler Durden in Fight Club, Tony Montana in Scarface, Mad Max, Wolverine and Batman. To cut things short, they have an excuse for being assholes. Them being problematic individuals makes them more human, I suppose—more relatable to. And hopeful (and foolish) as we are, we try to find the good in people who do horrible things, like cheating on their girlfriend or wife and all the douchebaggery. We try to change them. The thing about antiheroes is that it’s most likely to only exist in fantasy. That’s exactly why it came before the “heroes” and “villains” or the “good” and “evil” pair up. There’s really no gray area and that is why Jean still picked Scott over Logan. Oh wait, what am I saying, the X-Men is fantasy.
 

I have a second appearance on this post, I'm that badass.

So, yeah. Is there a point to this? I’m not sure. What I am sure of is that women, like any other human being, often seek for some adventure in their lives. I do think our being completely enamored by these bad boys can be avoided given all the red flags that will go up. it’s just that we choose not to.